Sunday, August 22, 2010

growing up

Yesterday Gwen wrote me a note. This is what it said:

Sometimes I feel too much is expected of me and I want to be little again. Sometimes I remember I am little, you treat me too old. Please treat me younger, I have too much responsibility.
Love, Gwen

I laid in bed thinking about it for a long time. It is sad and true and funny all at the same time. I thought about life and work and how they are inseparable, but not void of joy. And about how growing up is hard. I thought about how she doesn't have too much responsibility but I am too critical. I thought about other notes she has written me, namely this one and how this was a marked improvement. Maybe I am getting better? Maybe she is growing up and becoming more articulate. Ultimately, I decided I would also like to write someone a note that says "I have too much responsibility. I want to be little again." Who should I write it to?

As a side note, she wrote me another note today that said:

Mom, I love you and love writing you notes. Sometimes it is easier to tell the paper. I hope we keep writing notes to talk. Gwen

Sweet girl. As long as my eyes aren't x'ed out and I haven't been shot in the heart with an arrow I'm okay with the notes.


dixieandben said...

I want to write that note too. I am sad she is feeling the reality of growing up.
ps. I love the picture of you with your eyes x'ed out and an arrow through your heart.

House Of P said...

Awe...How sweet is that?! I LOVE that girl!!!

Kimberli said...

What sweet notes. I want to write the "I have too much responsibility" note too. I remember not wanting to grow up. I still sometimes wish I could be little again. I was never one of those kids who was in a hurry to grow up.

I know what you mean about her not having too much responsibility, but about you being too critical. I get caught in that too much. It is hard to know how to teach what is right without being critical of when they do it wrong. How do you do that? Somebody teach me please.

Jennifer said...

I have always told Ian that I am sorry that he is the oldest and that sometimes we expect him to know more,
be more responsible and be more mature. I told him that HF sent him as the oldest because he knew he could handle it. I don't know if that has really helped, but there's nothing you can do about expecting more from the oldest child.

I loved looking at that picture again, so funny.

cam said...

The oldest child has it rough some times. But I do love that picture of you with the eyes x'd out. I'd say you are doing everything right. I am always trying to do things like you. Thanks for the great example.

Cori said...

Can I leave a comment?? hmmm I will see. But anyway, she is a very awesome child! And I miss her. And also I love that picture!